Tired of hiding, I want to be free

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I’m tired of keeping all my problems a secret. I want to be free.

You’re never held accountable.
You just get to apologize and go back to normal. While I cry on the inside.

I’ve had to be disappointed every holiday.
and birthdays, because you always wait until the last minute.
You never put in real effort and thought into making things special for me.
Okay, you did once. But that was last minute too.

I had to fight with you to show me affection.
To be romantic.
To fight for us.

To prioritize me between your video games and social media.
Between smoking and drinking.

I did everything I could to change and be the best that I could for you.
I loved you. I forgave you. I grew with you. I supported you. I believed in us.

After all,
I forgave you for breaking my heart in the past.
& Shit, you didn’t fight for us then either.

It’s a constant battle with you to show me, love.
I give up.
I’m not going to fool myself that you love me when you can barely show them with your actions.

You don’t deserve me at my best.
IMG_5813.JPGpeace and light
-curlyhairvegan

 

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